Suburban Lawyer Rants by Jason T Olivier

Now we reap what we sew.  We have two media darlings battling it out for the highest office in the land, and is there any doubt that they are only satisfying their egos?  Trump has no sense of decency, and Hillary has no sense of shame.  He is a bully, and she is entitled and angry we don't agree.  How did we end up here?  Its the relentless dumbing down of America, the lack of any civility, the removal of God and the minimizing of the rights of society as a whole over the rights of individual sub-groups, the spoon feeding of entertainment disguised as news and the ever lowered expectations of us and our country. Congratulations.  Its time for society to enjoy the fruits of its harvest.  Me?  I'll pass.

We need to be cautious.  The current administration passed a new rule that people can use whatever sex's bathroom a person identifies with.  Well intentioned?  Likely.  Poorly thought out?  Yes.  Pandering?  ABSOLUTELY This isn't about transsexuals, people who in my humble opinion need more psychological help than physical.  Its intended to help those is transition to use the bathroom of the sex they wish they were.  In truth and in fact, it swings open the door to abuses by anyone. What if I am a good, but not great, athlete is school and I want to play varsity ball.  As a male, I may not get much playing time.  But if I unilaterally declared I felt I was a woman, I could set records on the women's team.  Is this fair to women?  NO.  Is opening their locker room to leering lying losers fair to women?  NO.  It is women who suffer from this ruling, and a federal court correctly stopped it. But that is not always the case with this Supreme Court.  They acknowledge, or

LOVE ME SOME SAINTS. When I was a year and half out of law school, I got a call from a lady I helped in law school.  Her uncle needed a new lawyer for his defense cases.  Sure, send them over I said.  That's how I became a Benson attorney. I know a bit about Tom, and more about his brothers.  They are gone now, and I loved them both.  They were good friends.  I was blessed to sing at one of their funerals.  Tom was at best an acquaintance and tough client.  Even today when I see Tom I am never sure if he recognizes me.  Which reminds me of rule number one- Tom hates lawyers.  If you weren't Stanley Rosenburg, his long time friend and attorney, you were just another shark. I digress... Many pundits are talking about the future of Sean Peyton right now.  They postulate what Mickey Loomis wants, and Drew Brees wants.  All that really matters is what Tom Benson wants.  So I will use my small amount of personal knowledge of the Benson mindset, my knowledge of football

I hate pennies.  I am sick of having to horde these disease-carrying, ugly brown metal slugs.  I understand they are necessary in a decimal-based economy, but today they are virtually irrelevant. So why does the government pay TWO CENTS to make every ONE CENT coin? Some say eliminate it and round prices to 5's.  Still have these freaking pennies to deal with, sitting quietly in several water jugs in my house and slowly breaking through the floor due to the weight. Why not this?  A NEW DOLLAR, like the forever stamp.  The AMERICA DOLLAR would be a $1 bill but worth $5 in today's currency.  Thus, the penny becomes the new nickel.  Change becomes relevant again and people may even break open those unfulfilled lonely piggy banks to go have lunch. After the initial shock of your paycheck netting $1000 to netting $200, I strongly believe people will accept it as almost a throw back to early days. PENNY CANDY?  Quite possibly so! To implement, retailers should

  I recently posted this to an OSU blog.  Nicholls was supposed to play them this weekend, but canceled due to Hurricane Isaac and the as of yet unknown damage to the campus.  A few OSU folks were less than understanding and postulated that NSU was just in it for the guaranteed paycheck.   Here was my response:   I am not with the university but I am a Colonels supporter, former player and fan.  I too am deeply sorry about this game.  OSU was a necessary opportunity for NSU players to play against BCS-level talent.  It helps us with recruiting, gives our second and thirds opportunity to play and the money from the game funds all of our athletics.  We take these games knowing we will likely not win, but for the good of the whole athletics program.  The kids will absolutely be disappointed, particularly because we know how beautiful it is up there and the experience is once in a lifetime.    But I want to explain what the area has been through.  This hurricane began affectin

Why do you deserve to DIE?!?!  Because you don't agree with me! The government talking heads tell me my anger is not my fault.  Its because you  disagree with me and thus YOU hate ME.  My stress and emotional instability isn't my fault.  Its because evil businesses are greedy, and because the state health care already available isn't helping me!  Its not helping me because its not sufficient, and its not sufficient because you hate me, because you disagree with my view.   So you must die, for me to keep my beliefs, right?  Because you hate me, you want to take my point of view away from me. This gun I am holding to your head?  THIS is responsible for your death too, not me.  You see I bought this legally, because I have second amendment rights.  So I can use it illegally, because the talking heads in Washington tell me its the gun's fault, not mine.  I don't have to follow the laws on the books.   So its not me that's killing you.   I didn't do that

I met someone recently who told me that while in Great Britain, her husband had a heart attack.  He was sent to the emergency room of a local hospital, and she was eventually summoned.  He sat in the hall of that hospital for three days straight with only minimal assistance.  When his wife arrived, she was livid.  How was it that a man who had experienced a heart attack was still sitting in a hallway waiting for a room?  The hospital had a 72 hour waiting period for heart patients.  She said that if they MADE IT through the 72 hours, then they got a bed. Now is this real, or puffery?  In these heated political times, who can say?  But there is no doubt SOME kernel of truth in it.  And even a tiny kernel is enough for me to say that I don't want government-run health care.  In my short blah blah years on this earth, I cannot think of one thing the government ran well.  Or efficiently.  I am not willing to put my health, my heart, my children's health on the line to appease

In two days, I covered over 600 miles. I drove through Lafourche, Jefferson, St. Bernard and Plaquemines. I talked to waitresses, gas station attendants, executives, oil field workers and plain old every day folks. They all said the same thing- business is fine. Its the future they fear. And they should. Where were the crabbers, shrimpers and fishermen? Where were the charter captains? Their boats were all moored up, but no one knew where they were. Well, some did. They were all being employed by BP to assist in the clean up. Some were even making money on the side taking media and tourists out to see the spill. They are happy for now. Where was the damage from the oil? What was apparent was the only visible damage is that of Katrina, particularly the closer you get to the coast. And where is the coast? Once you get outside the hurricane protection levees, you are treated to dead trees, low lying grass patches and water. In Lafourche, thats water pretty much right up to

I had a dream in which my mom and I were walking through the neighborhood where I was born. It was virtually destroyed by Katrina. I was pushing a cart of some sort and we were noticing all these things that both had and had not changed since I was there during Hurricane Betsy (1965). My favorite was tell tale signs of old businesses- faded hanging signs and placards. I noticed businesses were still there and doing okay. I saw many things I never noticed before. This week I am driving back to that neighborhood to look at it again in greater detail. Many of us have been knocked backwards, or are greatly fearful of having to take a step backwards. But why? We have already been in that spot, and we gained the experience to move ahead. Remember how broke you were when you first got married? How small your living space was? How simple your life was? We all dreamed, in essence, of being where we are (or further). So life knocks you on your arse, maybe back to square one. Don'

Right or wrong? Every set of laws on our planet is based on natural law. Natural law has several definitions, but in essence it is law that have been proved to be true again and again, not laws that are merely imposed by the will of another. Either its right, or wrong. On or off? Even in computing, everything reduces down to the simple definition of "on" or "off".   If a circuit is on, that's a 1.   If its off, 0.   That's why you see the 1 inside a 0 on almost every electronic on/off button.   The system of number counting that only has two digits is called BI-nary (bi meaning 2). So that's where the binary system comes from, and is the basis of all computing.  Black or white? We used to use the phrase "the answer is there in black and white."    These are the two juxtaposed extremes.  But in our increasingly pluralistic society, we have adopted that there are infinite "shades of gray."   While true in theory

Cats can lick themselves. Politicians wish they could lick themselves, but have to pay other people to do it. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAT AND A POLITICIAN? One acts aloof. Every now and then he walks by you and gives you a rub as if to say "yeah, I know you are there." You get excited and go to return the love, and off he walks. You stand there amazed when you catch him doing something, because most of the time he is just a pillow that eats and poops. You spend your hard earned money on him and he acts as though he deserves it. You try to interact with him, but he has the attention span of a ADD kindergarten-er on Red Bull. Why do we put up with these creatures? We complain how they tear up our stuff, crap in our house, take all our time and money- but when its there time to go WE GET ANOTHER ONE. And the other- is a cat.

I am pretty sure that you can tell by first grade whether your kid will be a lawyer. Here are some example response to a basic question, and you can see trends. The question was " what is 2+2 ?" Children predisposed to be doctors would gather with other children, come up with the answer of 4 , and each one would want individual credit. Liberal presidential candidates tended to assert that this was OBVIOUSLY a problem they inherited from a previous first grader and that the answer was 4 BUT they were going to add 4 more to it for your own good. Children pre-disposed to work in sales answered that it was 8 , but for today only they would give you an answer of 4 if they got credit for it today. Children destined for the food services industry were unable to even identify the problem UNLESS you showed it to them on a flat piece of thin laminated plastic with a picture over it.   They tended to just push the picture with their finger, thinking that -itself-

What a rude term.  How did it make it into our vernacular? How do I explain this to my three young kids?   " W hat T he F art?" or " W ill T ype for F ood?"   But the urban dictionary, the coldest slap in the face on how old you are getting, now defines it among other things as a flacid... uh... male appendage. Great.  Now nothing is sacred. Anyway, I am a 20+ year semi-rural lawyer saddled with a high IQ and a thankless job.   My rants should be both random and mind-expanding.   Or not. So please check back with me.   And if you have a subject you want me to rant on, I promise it will be interesting and maybe even funny. Oooooo. " W as T hat F unny?"  That works for me .